VIUNGRA

According to the Baltimore Catechism #2, the Sixth Commandment requires that we be pure in thought and deed blah blah.

Then BC2 addresses the obvious question, it’s admirable they don’t duck it—how exactly do we go about resisting temptation?

258. What are the chief means of preserving the virtue of chastity?
The chief means of preserving the virtue of chastity are to avoid carefully all unnecessary dangers, to seek God's help through prayer, frequent confession, Holy Communion, and assistance at Holy Mass, and to have a special devotion to the Blessed Virgin.

This all sounds like good(?) advice, but it doesn’t go nearly far enough. You want a fourteen year old boy alone in the shower with a roaring erection to, what, consider his devotion to the Blessed Virgin?

No, and it’s not just teenage boys, we could all use some additional assistance. Maybe science can help.

The Church approves the use of Viagra to promote licit marriage acts. Why can’t we have a pill that suppresses the desire for illicit sex acts?

There are crude versions referred to as chemical castration in use today on sex offenders. But for various reasons they’re unsatisfactory

We need a major research effort to produce something that’s cheap, with no side effects, and that’s easy to deliver. Once developed it has a target population of most of the human race.

Frequent sex fantasies and impulses are bothersome, not only for maintaining purity of thought and deed, but just for getting stuff done. This applies to Catholics and non-Catholics alike.

VIUNGRA could be the answer. The opposite of Viagra, it would suppress sexual desire and response. I’d be surprised if Jesuit chemists somewhere aren’t already working on it.

Priests and nuns could take it daily. Single people, unless they’re actively looking for a marriage partner could take it. Parents could add it to their kids’ food.

Even married couples could use it. Abstinence is the only sure form of birth control, even within a marriage. Catholic married couples could avoid the whole Vatican-roulette hassle by taking Viungra and forgetting about sex altogether.

By liberating the energy consumed in illicit sex acts, plus the energy consumed by the suppression of frequent sex impulses, we’d expect to see legions of chaste Catholics racing around frantically doing the will of the Lord.

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