One day Jesus addressed a group of small-businessmen, something about mustard seeds.
After the talk there was time for questions and answers. One of the businessmen seemed to speak for the group. “Jesus,” he said, “ we think you’re a great guy, and what you say sounds good. But we’re all busy, day and night, trying to support our wives and children. Margins are thin, taxes are fat, we're struggling just to stay in business.
“We want to do the right thing when it comes to God and religion and all, but it seems so complicated. We aren’t bible-scholars, we’re traders and craftsmen. We’d like to study more, and pray more, but heck, there’s only so much time in the day.
“Could you, Jesus, gives us your one most important piece of advice?”
“Sure,” Jesus said, “Actually it’s two pieces of advice, but they’re related.
“First,” Jesus said, “love God as much as you possibly can.
“Number two—love other people just like you love yourself.”
Another attendee stood up. “That sounds too simple, what about the rest of the laws and teachings?”
“Just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo invented by lazy priests to justify their existence,” Jesus said.
The last statement was removed from the New Testament, for obvious reasons, but it really pissed off the high priests and eventually got Jesus killed.
After the talk there was time for questions and answers. One of the businessmen seemed to speak for the group. “Jesus,” he said, “ we think you’re a great guy, and what you say sounds good. But we’re all busy, day and night, trying to support our wives and children. Margins are thin, taxes are fat, we're struggling just to stay in business.
“We want to do the right thing when it comes to God and religion and all, but it seems so complicated. We aren’t bible-scholars, we’re traders and craftsmen. We’d like to study more, and pray more, but heck, there’s only so much time in the day.
“Could you, Jesus, gives us your one most important piece of advice?”
“Sure,” Jesus said, “Actually it’s two pieces of advice, but they’re related.
“First,” Jesus said, “love God as much as you possibly can.
“Number two—love other people just like you love yourself.”
Another attendee stood up. “That sounds too simple, what about the rest of the laws and teachings?”
“Just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo invented by lazy priests to justify their existence,” Jesus said.
The last statement was removed from the New Testament, for obvious reasons, but it really pissed off the high priests and eventually got Jesus killed.
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4 comments:
“Just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo invented by lazy priests to justify their existence,” Jesus said.
You know this isn't true. This sounds like another one of your personal scores to settle with the Catholic Church...
~A
I know it IS true. It's in the Gospel According to sfwillie. In fact, you're reading sfwillie's Gospel right now.
Why are you so negative? I thought you'd appreciate my hightlighting the essence of Christ's message.
Maybe you're afraid that my "good news" is more fun than yours.
"Why are you so negative? I thought you'd appreciate my hightlighting the essence of Christ's message."
When you start highlighting the essence of Christ's message, then I will start being more positive.
"Maybe you're afraid that my "good news" is more fun than yours."
What I am afraid of is that your "good news" is not good news at all.
~A
Anonymous is right, it must be Good News from Satan.
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