HARDWARE

Many years ago when I was almost young the New Yorker did a three-parter on the profession of Marketing.

To illustrate the effects of marketing the author chose an industry that is heavily marketing driven: pet food.

The assumption is that no healthy dog or cat will starve to death in the presence of suitable food. Also assumed is that most reputable brands of dog and cat food provide basic nutrition that supports normal health and lifespan.

So, as the premise goes, a consumer’s choice of one pet food product over another is purely psychological.

A rational pet owner will buy whatever is cheapest.

For the rest it’s emotional: how much do they love their pets? How much do their pet’s love them? Etc.

I assume the same applies to altar equipment. How much you (or your parishioners) pay for a chalice or monstrance, reflects upon how much they love the Blessed Sacrament which equals Jesus which equals God.

So our young God-loving priest, charged with founding a new congregation in some outback-bush, goes on line to buy the basic altar equipment for his new church. Like the RCC, our guy is in it for the long haul and wants to buy lasting value.

Our young priest finds what he likes at St Andrew’s Church Supply. [Note: Click on a picture for a description of that item.]

Tabernacle $44,500.00

Monstrance $17,255.00

Chalice $10,420.00

Ciborium $10,420.00

Intinction Set $7,950.00

Total $90,545.00

This might seem pricey, but the timber alone on the native’s land is worth many times that.

And you have it admit, it’s beautiful stuff.

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ANOTHER ONE WISES UP

Rentapriest blog provides a story about a Swiss Jesuit, Father Lukas Niederberger, who is leaving the priesthood in order to get married.

The gist of the article is that Niederberger’s vocational decision coincided with his growing disaffection with Ratzinger and what Ratzinger represents.

His decision was announced on the same day the pope issued Motu Proprio.

The article continues about Niederberger’s theology—he was a devotee of Hans Kung.

He doesn't see Christianity as a superior religion to others. "I like the image that the Baha'i have of other religions. For them, each religion forms a chapter in a book. And each chapter has its value. Therefore it makes no sense to say that one chapter is better than another. Each one is necessary for the cohesion of the whole book. For me, religious pluralism in the world is part of God's plan. It's His will."

If Father Niederberger is correct about God’s plan for religious pluralism, then the RCC’s aggressive, coercive evangelization of less developed non-European peoples was and remains a horrendous sin.

I love the way Niederberger talks about the "second half" of his life.

"For several years I have been asking myself what I want to do with the second half of my life. But there has been almost no sign of opening in the Catholic Church for the last twenty years," he says. "John Paul II has made it into a monolith that tolerates no diversity. And I don't see any hope of change with the present pope, nor in the future. Progressive Catholics are generally over 65 years old. And the next generation is that of John Paul II. The young priests are very clerical and not at all critical of the hierarchy."

I think one has to repeat the word “vow” only a very few times before it loses meaning and becomes just a sound. Let’s try it: vow vow vow vow vow vow vow…

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COWABUNGA!

Geronimo Cuevas was arrested for misdemeanor sex charges in an outdoor “tearoom.”

A tearoom is a public place where men go for anonymous sex with each other. Apparently the danger involved is a sexual stimulant.

The department said that the parking lot and trail areas near Pirates Cove, which is close to Avila Beach, have a history of sexual solicitation problems. Deputies are periodically sent there to monitor the area.

Such activities and arrests are nothing unusual. I once knew a guy in L.A. who was getting arrested in the same tearoom (toilet in North Hollywoood park) once or twice a year.

The reason Geronimo’s arrest made the news is he’s a Catholic priest.

So, (if the allegations are true) Father Cuevas a little pervy, not a big deal, but he’s a goddamned hypocrite, which IS a big deal.

Pathetic detail from the story in SanLuisObispo.com:

When he was booked into County Jail on Wednesday, Cuevas stated he was unemployed and lived in Las Vegas, said Sheriff’s Department spokesman Sgt. Brian Hascall.

It’s unclear why the priest listed himself as a Las Vegas resident when the diocese and church acknowledged he was serving at St. Joseph’s.

Judging from the Church’s reaction below, Father Cueves’ assertion of unemployment was not so much incorrect as premature, almost prescient.

The diocese released a terse written statement Friday afternoon, saying Cuevas was placed on administrative leave and “no longer has any faculties to function as a priest.”

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THOMAS JEFFERSON - TEN QUOTES

One of the Big Lies pounded into American ears is that the United States is a Christian nation, founded on Christian (sometimes they ignorantly say “Judeo-Christian”) principles.

My friend Jim, who introduced me to the Cockettes and is revered by many Fomers as a prophet, sends along these ten quotes from Thomas Jefferson about religion. Jim is a real artist. Check out his Blue Elephant blog.

Thomas Jefferson probably qualifies as an American “Founding Father.”

Not only did Jefferson famously pen the Declaration of Independence, he served as the nation’s first Secretary of State, second Vice President, and two terms as President.

Plus he did a lot of other stuff, some of it unsavory and sinful.


TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE

There are eleven quotes below. Ten of them are attributed to Thomas Jefferson, one of them is attributed to another American Founding Father. Can you pick out the non-Jefferson quote? Can you name it’s author. Answer in Comments.

1. Question with boldness even the existence of God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.

2. Religions are all alike -- founded upon fables and mythologies.

3. This would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it.

4. Christianity is the most perverted system that ever shone on man.

5. The Christian God is a being of terrific character - cruel, vindictive, capricious, and unjust.

6. The authors of the gospels were unlettered and ignorant men and the teachings of Jesus have come to us mutilated, misstated and unintelligible.

7. If the freedom of religion, guaranteed to us by law in theory, can ever rise in practice under the overbearing inquisition of public opinion, then and only then will truth, prevail over fanaticism.

8. The loathsome combination of Church and State…

9. In every country and every age, the priest had been hostile to Liberty.

10. On the dogmas of religion, as distinguished from moral principles, all mankind, from the beginning of the world to this day, have been quarreling, fighting, burning and torturing one another, for abstractions unintelligible to themselves and to all others, and absolutely beyond the comprehension of the human mind.

11. We discover (in the gospels) a groundwork of vulgar ignorance, of things impossible, of superstition, fanaticism and fabrication.

This is all very tame compared to, say, Denis Diderot:

“Let us strangle the last king with the entrails of the last priest.”

Of course, Diderot, Jefferson, and Guess-who lived in a long-ago era called “The Enlightenment.”

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GOD'S GRANDEUR - HOPKINS

Regarding the musicality of God’s Grandeur, my best friend, Pudinhand Wilson said, “It croaks like a syncopated frog pond—don’t you love it!”

We were enthusiastic about poetry back in high school. I think it was then Mr. Dick McCurdy, S.J., who made us memorize it.

It’s kind of hard to swallow the Holy Ghost thing, but obviously Hopkins was more interested in the warm breast part and the bright wings part.

Gerard Manley Hopkins, S.J. (wiki-link) was self tortured about (homo) sexual issues, poor guy. But heck, everyone’s got some sort of issues.

I explain the weird imagery of God's Grandeur thusly: Father Hopkins put off saying his daily prayers, this was a weakness of his, because he was immersed in Popular Science type magazines.

He fell asleep in the middle of his prayers and God got mixed up with the oozing oil and crushed foil phenonema he'd been reading about.

Hopkins was a major innovator in English prosody. We salute the Society of Jesus for associating themselves with this great man.

Some kid wrote a diatribe (in verse, of course) against Hopkins’ rhythms. It went on and on, but I still remember the refrain:

Spring, sprang, sprung--
Hopkins, hold your tongue.

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PARISHIONERS MUST PAY

LA Archdiocese’ out-of-pocket contribution to the $660 million clergy sex predator settlement equals approximately $1 million per parish.

Special collections won’t be needed (what would the church call them?) because the Archdiocese owns $4 Billion in non-parochial real estate.

But it’s all collection-plate money, current or past.

Some think it unfair that honest, humble parishioners should have to pay such huge sums for the misbehavior of a few pedophile priests.

But the huge sums are generated not by the evil of the molesting priests but rather by the evil of the Church hierarchy who protected and enabled the offending priests to continue fucking children, and in many cases to escape the sanctions of secular criminal law.

Unfair is that no bishops (or superiors) have been arrested for conspiracy to commit child rape, a charge to which they open themselves by knowingly moving rapist-priests into victim-rich environments.

It is the parishioners, however, who enable the corrupt hierarchy by their obedience, financial support, and consent to be governed.

Roman Catholics choose to belong to an authoritarian organization. The authority they grant their bishops and popes can be rescinded. Those who blindly support the hierarchy share the culpability.

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A FEW SURMISALS (FOME)

Recently we referred to one of FOME’s (Familiars of Mineral Existence) surmisals.

FOME is a dogma-free karass. The closest we get to doctrines are “surmisals.” Surmisal is a variant of the noun surmise. According to poopie Webster, a surmise is a thought or idea based on scanty evidence.

Thusly, a surmisal, per an even more spurious online dictionary, is the expression of a belief that is held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge or proof.

We like how the last syllable of surmisal hints at schlemiel and schlimazel.

The previously mentioned surmisal, is
There’s no such thing as hell, everyone goes to heaven.

Another important surmisal is the FOME trinity:
God is love.
God is fun.
God is totally stoned (mineral).

On Reverence
Somethingness in addition to nothingness is awesome, compared to just nothingness.

On Truth
True surmisals are both unnumbered an un-umbered.

On Sainthood
A saint is someone who creates activities that are fun for all.

On the End of Man
Teleology is for chumps.

On Death
Death is “the great relaxation,” (compared to orgasm which is “the lesser relaxation”).

FOME Membership
Includes unlimited in and out privileges.

And, being pacifists (unless totally pissed off), FOMEs abjure canons.

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ON HERESY

From the Third Canon of the Fourth Lateran Council, on heresy, (Innocent III, 1215):

Let secular authorities, whatever offices they may be discharging, be advised and urged and if necessary be compelled by ecclesiastical censure, if they wish to be reputed and held to be faithful, to take publicly an oath for the defense of the faith to the effect that they will seek, in so far as they can, to expel from the lands subject to their jurisdiction all heretics designated by the church in good faith. Thus whenever anyone is promoted to spiritual or temporal authority, he shall be obliged to confirm this article with an oath. If however a temporal lord, required and instructed by the church, neglects to cleanse his territory of this heretical filth, he shall be bound with the bond of excommunication by the metropolitan and other bishops of the province. If he refuses to give satisfaction within a year, this shall be reported to the supreme pontiff so that he may then declare his vassals absolved from their fealty to him and make the land available for occupation by [good] Catholics so that these may, after they have expelled the heretics, possess it unopposed and preserve it in the purity of the faith…

These are the words (emphases mine) of Christ's Vicar on Earth.

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JESUIT SNITCH

I have all these great things to say about the Jesuits, but I keep getting sidetracked by stuff like this in Catholic World News item titled: Polish priest at Vatican Radio accused of collaboration.

Warsaw, Jul. 3, 2007 (CWNews.com) - Father Andrzej Koprowski, the programming director for Vatican Radio, was registered as a collaborator with the Polish secret police during the Communist era, the newspaper Gazeta Wyborcza reports.

Jesuit Watch did any earlier post about Polish Catholic Priest who spied on their fellow Catholics and snitched to the Communist secret police. The issue came up when Nazi-collaborator Ratzinger tried to appoint another Polish secret police snitch to be the head Archbishop in charge of all Poland.

Now Koprowski, a Jesuit, has admitted being a snitch for the communists.

Father Koprowski says that he met with officials of the secret police with the knowledge and permission of his Jesuit superior.

According to another story, from CNS, on this issue: Polish church commission: One in seven bishops was police informer.

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72 VIRGINS OR ... A NIGHT LIGHT?

I came across a section of the Baltimore Catechism that recommends certain prayers be said daily. Nothing too exceptional, but this little ditty caught my eye.

FOR THE FAITHFUL DEPARTED

Eternal rest give unto them, O Lord. And let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. Amen.

This is familiar language to Catholics, but, wait a second! Is “eternal rest” all we get?

I thought the faithful departed were supposed to enter into the presence, eyeball to eyeball with God.

But, “eternal rest” sounds like lying in the grave for a real long time.

One childish notion of heaven is that if we deny our sinful cravings here on earth we will be able to satisfy them in heaven. Take, for instance, a guy who for some cockamamie reason is sexually attracted only to sheep. But he’s a good Catholic and, difficult as it can be, he lives his whole life virtuously and never commits bestiality.

So, when the guy gets to heaven, he will be able to have all the sex he wants with an unending supply of incredibly beautiful sheep. No?

Come to think of it, we don’t hear much about the Christian heaven. The RCC has chosen instead utilize the threat of eternal damnation as a way of coercing desired behavior from those under its thumb.

And those who still don’t cooperate, just kill them, that’s how Pedro de Arbués earned his halo. Those who go to Catholic heaven get to rub elbows with this sainted Inquisitor Provincial of the Kingdom of Aragon.

Jesuits could gain some credibility by repudiating the cannonization of this murderer-for-Jusus.

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