Thursday, September 27, 2007

THAT LYING BIBLE

The author of Saint Peter’s Second Epistle was not Saint Peter, at least according to the American Council of Catholic Bishops.

In their introduction to 2Peter in the New American Bible, they state:

Among modern scholars there is wide agreement that 2 Peter is a pseudonymous work, i.e., one written by a later author who attributed it to Peter…

The bishops list numerous reasons why 2Peter could not have been written by the Apostle Peter.

In the first chapter, the author of 2Peter claims to speak with authority because he, the author, was there with Jesus at the “transfiguration” described in Matthew 17.

The epistle-writer says:

16 We did not follow cleverly devised myths when we made known to you the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but we had been eyewitnesses of his majesty.
17 For he received honor and glory from God the Father when that unique declaration came to him from the majestic glory, "This is my Son, my beloved, with whom I am well pleased."
18 We ourselves heard this voice come from heaven while we were with him on the holy mountain.

Clearly, the statements in boldface are outright lies.





That the Catholic Church at some historical point included 2Peter in the official Bible (which is the Word of God) could be seen as some sort of honest mistake.

The Church’s continued inclusion of this bogus, lying document as the word of God hurts the Church’s claim of authenticity, let alone honesty.

2Peter addresses the” scoffers.”

The early Church’s belief that the second coming would happen in their lifetimes was a gigantic misunderstanding. The people, apostles and such, who were actually there, living and traveling and talking with Jesus, completely misunderstood his promise to return soon.

How much else of Jesus’ preaching was misunderstood?

Per the statue pictured above (click on image for source) St Peter had a great physique with a nice net. But he did not write 2Peter.

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BILL OF PARTICULARS

A new conservative blog, Reforming the Jesuits, has emerged.

It’s first post, Why Do You Think the Jesuits Need Reformed [sic], is a nifty bill of particulars, beginning with someone named Bollard who

told interviewers on "60 Minutes" that during his seven years as a Jesuit, at least 12 priests made unwelcome sexual advances and invited him to cruise gay bars.

Presumably Bollard’s complaint to Provincial John Privett, S.J. was that 12 advances in 7 years was too many. Others in formation might find such numbers disappointingly low. It’s difficult to satisfy everyone.

Conservative blogs such as Good/Bad and RtJ provide much fodder for Jesuit Watch.

We all see discrepancies between policy and practice.

As an example, it’s the policy of the RCC and by extension the Jesuits that homosexual acts are sinful, yet, in practice, many Jesuits are actively homosexual.

Conservatives want the Jesuits to change their practices to make them comply with their policy. These folks want the clergy purged of all practicing homosexuals.

Liberals, including this blog, want the Jesuits to bring their policy into conformance with their practice. We want the RCC and by extension the Jesuits to proclaim that gay sex is licit and potentially sacramental.

The church faces danger if it moves in either direction. Thus, the status f*cked-up quo.

Interesting about Reforming the Jesuits is it’s author, Roberto Bellarmino, “Born in 1542 in Montepulciano, Italy.”

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Sunday, September 23, 2007

MORE BIBLE BABBLE

SCRIPTURES, n.
The sacred books of our holy religion,
as distinguished
from the false and profane writings on which
all other faiths are based.
Ambrose Bierce,
The Devil’s Dictionary



A gay softball teammate one time mentioned that he had been a Catholic seminarian. He said it was mostly the stupid internal politics, corruption, and general nastiness that drove him away.

Somehow I mentioned the Bible and he said the seminarians were discouraged from reading it, let alone considering it. The only purpose of the Bible, they were told, was to legitimize the authority of the Roman Catholic Church.


Here in the United States we associate Bible-reading with religious wrongheadedness.

If you open the Bible randomly there’s no telling what kind of garbage you might come up with—snake handling, speaking in tongues, the Fugitive Slave Act, the Second Coming, polygamy, child sacrifice, the list goes on and on.




Take the Fugitive Slave Act (please). Paul’s epistle to Philemon supports what must be God’s law: that runaway slaves should be returned to their masters. Oh, he also says that Philemon should treat the slave well—wink, wink.

(Is there a sex angle here? Did Paul like women at all? Do you suppose he ever really “got it on” with anyone?)

I love the American bishops’ explanation in their New American Bible. Of Paul:

He does not attack slavery directly, for this is something the Christian communities of the first century were in no position to do, and the expectation that Christ would soon come again militated against social reforms.

This might explain the fugitive slave thing but it points out a much more glaring discrepancy: the early church thought that the second coming of Jesus would happen in their lifetime or shortly thereafter.

They thought that Jesus had promised this to them.

They were completely wrong.

As silly as the Millerites.

Was there some miscommunication?

And what about slavery? Was it ok then, but wrong now?

See, kiddies, don’t open the Bible, it will only confuse you.

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Saturday, September 22, 2007

CHINA LEADS THE WAY


Two men were ordained bishops in China yesterday. These men were not selected by the pope. According to this CNS story, however, the pope approves:

The Vatican newspaper indicated that both ordinations had been carried out with the approval of Pope Benedict XVI. The local Catholic communities, who elected the bishops, had indicated to the Vatican that they were worthy candidates, the newspaper said.

If Catholic communities in China can elect their own bishops, why not communities in Europe and America, too?

The whole totalitarian, monarchical, hierarchical structure of the church is a little passé. Countries organized that way are called dictatorships.

A true democrat would tell any silk-slippered potentate to kiss his own damn ring.
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Saturday, September 15, 2007

KEEP GIVING, FOLKS

As the total US priest sex abuse payouts, cumulative from 1950, pass $2 Billion, we are seeing more and more reports of financial crime within the RCC.

Right wing commentators point to mutual blackmail contributing to the administrative coverup of the priest sex crimes, but the blackmail need not be sexual.


Evidence that a superior has been embezzling could protect a priest sex offender from exposure.

This story from the Darien News-Review is way creepy. Although blackmail isn't mentioned, someone must have known. Lead:

The Rev. Michael Jude Fay, who resigned last year as pastor of St. John's Roman Catholic Church after he allegedly stole at least $1.4 million in parish funds, pleaded guilty yesterday to a federal fraud charge.

Somehow the faithful keep donating. I guess that’s why they’re called “faithful.”


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TSK, TSK

So some Jesuit universities are shilling for student-loan lenders—what’s the big deal? Lots of universities around the nation have been caught doing the same thing. There’s no reason to expect better from the Jesuits, is there?

According to this story in Fairfield University’s student newspaper, the Mirror,

Late this summer, it was reported that Fairfield, as well as two other Connecticut colleges, had an agreement with The College Board, Inc. to make the company one of its preferred loan providers in return for thousands of dollars in software discounts.

This is another example of the cryptic nature of Catholic moral theology. The sum total of the two testaments plus two millenia of explication couldn’t help the padres at Fairfield figure out if bribery was ok. But not to worry:

Though the University admits to no wrongdoing, it agreed to follow a financial aid code of conduct to prevent similar scandals in the future.

Gotta prevent those scandals!

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HEAVENLY BODIES

Admission to one’s eternal reward is instantaneous upon death. One’s soul goes immediately into the presence of God, or to H – E – double hockeysticks.

But wait, there’s more (as if there need be). At the end of the world, our bodies will be resurrected and reunited with our souls and earth will be transformed. We’ll walk around and experience things the way we did in mortal life, except everything will be really, really great. And the people in hell will have physical as well as emotional torment.

So, where exactly is Jesus’ body right now? He ascended, but where? Physical, bodily heaven awaits the end of the world.


And where is Mary’s body. It was “assumed” into… where?



So there are two human bodies floating around up there somewhere, keeping each other company.

Do they long for additional human biomass to join them?

“Selflessness” is a tough little paradox.

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Tuesday, August 28, 2007

HOLY SONNET XIV

Mr Richard McCurdy, S.J., told our sophomore honor class that Donne’s sonnet, Batter My Heart…, was a little “grown-up” for kids our age, but he thought we could handle it.

Also, since he was teaching it to a senior class at the time, it allowed him to kill two birds with one lesson plan.

I always think of Batter My Heart as a “terrible sonnet.” Then wikipedia reminds me it was Hopkins who wrote the terrible sonnets, although Batter… is every bit as terrible as say, Carrion Comfort.


Actually, some rhythmic riffs in Batter… foretell Hopkins’ sprungness.

Here’s a little scorecard to help tell the two apart.



BTW: According to wikipedia Donne wrote a polemic titled Ignatius and his Cohort which takes place in, and numbers Ignatius Loyola among the residents of, hell.

I wonder what pissed him off.
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SAINTHOOD MATH



Just the mention of Mother Teresa gets this blog’s juices flowing. We agree with Hitchens, et al, that this purported saint was anything but.

Like the witches inside Hans Castorp’s Magic Mountain, her vocation fed on a high birth rate.

Our seating plan for the eternal banquet called “Heaven” has Mother Teresa sharing a table with Pedro Arbues, Paul of Tarsus, and Augustine of Hippo—the “Mirth Group.”

The current press notice of her letters regarding the emptiness of Catholic theology focuses on Teresa’s hypocrisy—she adamantly preached things she didn’t really believe.





The Roman Catholic Church, by contrast, touts her perseverance in performing good works even in the face of dark doubts. This belies, however, the church’s contention that charity is connected to belief in Jesus God.

Let’s do the math:



Accept, for the sake of argument, that Mother Teresa’s public ministry can be called “good works.”

According to her letters, during some time periods of her ministry she had a clear belief in Jesus. During other times she did not have this belief.




Of course we find it despicable that Mother Teresa wanted her letters destroyed.

We at Jesuit Watch consider the experience of emptiness and darkness and meaninglessness as the starting point of adult spirituality, not something to be ashamed of. Sharing such experiences with others is the essence of “church.”

We surmise that for Mother Teresa to express her doubts publicly would have been an awkward career move.

[Note: The second picture is of Olivia Hussey portraying Mother Teresa in an eponymous made-for-TV movie.]



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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

JUST DOING THEIR JOB

One of the dumber sayings to come out of the 1960’s youth explosion was, “Don’t trust anyone over thirty.” It’s good advice only if you add, “…neither trust anyone thirty or below.” I heard a Jesuit twist it to: “Don’t trust anyone over thirty-three, unless they’ve been crucified.”

Poor Cardinal Bertone has been whining again about negative press coverage. Like the great majority of Enron employees who were hard-working and law-abiding, the Catholic Church is made up of mostly good people. Heck, even Hitler’s army was made mostly of people like our current pope!

“…the men and women of the church, have done and continue to do an immense volume of good in every part of the world," Bertone said.

SFW! To say anything less would be condemnation. The whole purpose of the church is to do good. The fact that it is doing some good should come as no surprise.

Bertone, in the CNS article, stupidly compares the Catholic Church to the newly restored Sistine Chapel ceiling. If only it were so easy!

Anyway, two Catholic priests are in the news for doing their magisterial duties.

Father Steve Kelly, S.J., and Franciscan Father Louis Vitale are facing federal trespassing charges in Fort Huachuca, near the Arizona-Mexico border.

Fathers Kelly and Vitale tried to enter the Fort Huachuca Army base with the intent of instructing the soldiers there about the evil of torture.

Jesuit Watch' position: there is no contingency that justifies torture.

The action of the two priests is elegant symbolism. They weren’t chaining themselves, or blocking entrances, they were simply doing their job, teaching people to avoid the unhappiness associated with mortal sin.

The CNS piece says that Father Kelly, S.J., had been associated with a Catholic Worker group in Northern California, and that Father Vitale is retired from St Boniface Church which for decades has served the down-and-out in San Francisco’s Tenderloin.

In the picture below Jesuit Kelly says mass in a setting that almost resembles that of the Last Supper, more so, at least, than say, St Peter’s in Rome, or the Sistine Chapel with Michaelangelo’s cartoons that the Cardinal is so proud of.


And Father Louis Vitale dresses the part, he's no stranger to police tape, and he doesn’t scare the children.




Bertone is right. There are lots of great Catholics.

BTW: One of the smarter sayings from the 1960’s was “Turn on, tune in , drop out.” Leary’s message repeats the message of Jesus, at least that of the hippie, contrarian Jesus as educed by the Jesus Seminar.

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BAPTISTS JUST AS BAD?

Don McGuire, S.J., might be the most famous Jesuit priest in America today. Freed by the court while appealing his felony child molestation conviction, Father McGuire has been jailed twice for violating the terms of his release.

According to this Chicago Sun-Times story, a new civil suit has been filed against McGuire and the Jesuits, by a John Doe.

The suit alleges that Jesuit priest Donald McGuire abused a boy over a three-year-period, beginning in 1999, when the victim was 13 years old and living periodically with the priest at Canisius House, a Jesuit residence in Evanston.

A spokesman for the Chicago province tried to pick a hole in the allegation:

"It is highly unlikely that a minor or a non-Jesuit would be living in a Jesuit residence in any capacity," said Jeremy Langford.

I guess that wouldn’t include, technically, the two mentally retarded live-in dishwashers who were serially raped by multiple Jesuits at their Northern California retreat center.

Notable in the Sun-Times story about Father McGuire is John Doe #116’s legal team—one of his attorneys is a nephew of Father McGuire.

"I'm ashamed of my uncle and I'm unmasking him for the child predator that he is," said [Kevin] McGuire, a personal-injury lawyer from Newport Beach, Calif.

McGuire, S.J., is old and fat and probably just doesn’t give a shit. He managed to touch some lovely stuff in his career.

Google image search turns up few images of Father McGuire. Here he poses, years ago, with a family that’s associated with Gonzaga. The little boy isn’t smiling.


There’s a story in recent news about a Chicago area Baptist congregation hiring a minister who is a convicted child molester. The Sun-Times story is here.

It’s kind of touching, and pathetic, that congregants believed so much in the transformative power of faith that they were willing to trust their children with a convicted sex offender.

There were sound-bites on the news last night of a woman who tracks clergy abuse in American Protestant denominations (or maybe just Baptists).

It was her contention that clergy child sexual predation was as big a problem in the Baptist churches as in the Catholic Church.

Catholics, including Jesuits, set the standard.


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Wednesday, August 15, 2007

SOME GAY HISTORY

[This article is reposted from sfwillie's blog.]

David Patrick McIntosh, my boyfriend at the time (1970-72), founded the first Gay group in Nebraska, actually two groups:

Lincoln Gay Action Group (LinGAG)

University of Nebraska Gay Action Group (UNGAG).

I’m proud of the important role I played but the driving force was David. He was my first love. We were both Jesuit-trained poets, as evidenced by the catchy acronyms for the two groups.


I’m reminiscing because of the Democratic presidential candidates forum last night that was sponsored by a gay group and addressed gay issues (according to reports, I didn’t watch it.)

I’m having a how-far-we’ve-come experience.

It had to be the summer of 1972, pre-convention, George McGovern was gaining inevitability as the demcand, and he was swinging through Nebraska and there was a townhall thingie in Lincoln that David attended.

David came home that night excited. During the Q&A he was able to get to the microphone and he asked George McGovern this elegant question:

“What is your position on Gay Rights?”

David said that McGovern sputtered, and sputtered some more, and embarrassingly sputtered some more before coming up with some sort of general platitude.




According to David it was abundantly clear that McGovern didn’t have a position on Gay Rights—never thought about it.

So, I would surmise that my boyfriend, David Patrick McIntosh, was the first person ever to ask this question of a presidential candidate. In those days what David did took guts.

The Jesuits should be proud.


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Thursday, August 9, 2007

HAPPY JUST WAR DAY

According to Wikipedia, Nagasaki, in 1580 was a colony of the Society of Jesus.

Jesuit influence in, and actual rule over Nagasaki came to my attention a few months ago when the Society complained about incorrect statements in a wiki-entry about some rebellion in Japan and the involvement of the Jesuits. The Jesuits never mentioned Nagasaki, but that's where the action took place.



Tomorrow we remember another milestone of western influence in Japan, as we contemplate the Catholic just-war theory, which amounts to, “Hey, it’s just war!”



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Saturday, July 28, 2007

HARDWARE

Many years ago when I was almost young the New Yorker did a three-parter on the profession of Marketing.

To illustrate the effects of marketing the author chose an industry that is heavily marketing driven: pet food.

The assumption is that no healthy dog or cat will starve to death in the presence of suitable food. Also assumed is that most reputable brands of dog and cat food provide basic nutrition that supports normal health and lifespan.

So, as the premise goes, a consumer’s choice of one pet food product over another is purely psychological.

A rational pet owner will buy whatever is cheapest.

For the rest it’s emotional: how much do they love their pets? How much do their pet’s love them? Etc.

I assume the same applies to altar equipment. How much you (or your parishioners) pay for a chalice or monstrance, reflects upon how much they love the Blessed Sacrament which equals Jesus which equals God.

So our young God-loving priest, charged with founding a new congregation in some outback-bush, goes on line to buy the basic altar equipment for his new church. Like the RCC, our guy is in it for the long haul and wants to buy lasting value.

Our young priest finds what he likes at St Andrew’s Church Supply. [Note: Click on a picture for a description of that item.]

Tabernacle $44,500.00


Monstrance $17,255.00


Chalice $10,420.00


Ciborium $10,420.00


Intinction Set $7,950.00




Total $90,545.00

This might seem pricey, but the timber alone on the native’s land is worth many times that.

And you have it admit, it’s beautiful stuff.


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ANOTHER ONE WISES UP

Rentapriest blog provides a story about a Swiss Jesuit, Father Lukas Niederberger, who is leaving the priesthood in order to get married.

The gist of the article is that Niederberger’s vocational decision coincided with his growing disaffection with Ratzinger and what Ratzinger represents.


His decision was announced on the same day the pope issued Motu Proprio.

The article continues about Niederberger’s theology—he was a devotee of Hans Kung.

He doesn't see Christianity as a superior religion to others. "I like the image that the Baha'i have of other religions. For them, each religion forms a chapter in a book. And each chapter has its value. Therefore it makes no sense to say that one chapter is better than another. Each one is necessary for the cohesion of the whole book. For me, religious pluralism in the world is part of God's plan. It's His will."

If Father Niederberger is correct about God’s plan for religious pluralism, then the RCC’s aggressive, coercive evangelization of less developed non-European peoples was and remains a horrendous sin.

I love the way Niederberger talks about the "second half" of his life.

"For several years I have been asking myself what I want to do with the second half of my life. But there has been almost no sign of opening in the Catholic Church for the last twenty years," he says. "John Paul II has made it into a monolith that tolerates no diversity. And I don't see any hope of change with the present pope, nor in the future. Progressive Catholics are generally over 65 years old. And the next generation is that of John Paul II. The young priests are very clerical and not at all critical of the hierarchy."

I think one has to repeat the word “vow” only a very few times before it loses meaning and becomes just a sound. Let’s try it: vow vow vow vow vow vow vow…



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Sunday, July 22, 2007

COWABUNGA!

Geronimo Cuevas was arrested for misdemeanor sex charges in an outdoor “tearoom.”

A tearoom is a public place where men go for anonymous sex with each other. Apparently the danger involved is a sexual stimulant.

The department said that the parking lot and trail areas near Pirates Cove, which is close to Avila Beach, have a history of sexual solicitation problems. Deputies are periodically sent there to monitor the area.

Such activities and arrests are nothing unusual. I once knew a guy in L.A. who was getting arrested in the same tearoom (toilet in North Hollywoood park) once or twice a year.

The reason Geronimo’s arrest made the news is he’s a Catholic priest.

So, (if the allegations are true) Father Cuevas a little pervy, not a big deal, but he’s a goddamned hypocrite, which IS a big deal.

Pathetic detail from the story in SanLuisObispo.com:

When he was booked into County Jail on Wednesday, Cuevas stated he was unemployed and lived in Las Vegas, said Sheriff’s Department spokesman Sgt. Brian Hascall.

It’s unclear why the priest listed himself as a Las Vegas resident when the diocese and church acknowledged he was serving at St. Joseph’s.


Judging from the Church’s reaction below, Father Cueves’ assertion of unemployment was not so much incorrect as premature, almost prescient.

The diocese released a terse written statement Friday afternoon, saying Cuevas was placed on administrative leave and “no longer has any faculties to function as a priest.”


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Friday, July 20, 2007

THOMAS JEFFERSON - TEN QUOTES

One of the Big Lies pounded into American ears is that the United States is a Christian nation, founded on Christian (sometimes they ignorantly say “Judeo-Christian”) principles.

My friend Jim, who introduced me to the Cockettes and is revered by many Fomers as a prophet, sends along these ten quotes from Thomas Jefferson about religion. Jim is a real artist. Check out his Blue Elephant blog.

Thomas Jefferson probably qualifies as an American “Founding Father.”


Not only did Jefferson famously pen the Declaration of Independence, he served as the nation’s first Secretary of State, second Vice President, and two terms as President.

Plus he did a lot of other stuff, some of it unsavory and sinful.


TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE

There are eleven quotes below. Ten of them are attributed to Thomas Jefferson, one of them is attributed to another American Founding Father. Can you pick out the non-Jefferson quote? Can you name it’s author. Answer in Comments.


1. Question with boldness even the existence of God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.

2. Religions are all alike -- founded upon fables and mythologies.

3. This would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it.

4. Christianity is the most perverted system that ever shone on man.

5. The Christian God is a being of terrific character - cruel, vindictive, capricious, and unjust.

6. The authors of the gospels were unlettered and ignorant men and the teachings of Jesus have come to us mutilated, misstated and unintelligible.

7. If the freedom of religion, guaranteed to us by law in theory, can ever rise in practice under the overbearing inquisition of public opinion, then and only then will truth, prevail over fanaticism.

8. The loathsome combination of Church and State…

9. In every country and every age, the priest had been hostile to Liberty.

10. On the dogmas of religion, as distinguished from moral principles, all mankind, from the beginning of the world to this day, have been quarreling, fighting, burning and torturing one another, for abstractions unintelligible to themselves and to all others, and absolutely beyond the comprehension of the human mind.

11. We discover (in the gospels) a groundwork of vulgar ignorance, of things impossible, of superstition, fanaticism and fabrication.

This is all very tame compared to, say, Denis Diderot:

“Let us strangle the last king with the entrails of the last priest.”


Of course, Diderot, Jefferson, and Guess-who lived in a long-ago era called “The Enlightenment.”

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Thursday, July 19, 2007

GOD'S GRANDEUR - HOPKINS

Regarding the musicality of God’s Grandeur, my best friend, Pudinhand Wilson said, “It croaks like a syncopated frog pond—don’t you love it!”

We were enthusiastic about poetry back in high school. I think it was then Mr. Dick McCurdy, S.J., who made us memorize it.

It’s kind of hard to swallow the Holy Ghost thing, but obviously Hopkins was more interested in the warm breast part and the bright wings part.

Gerard Manley Hopkins, S.J. (wiki-link) was self tortured about (homo) sexual issues, poor guy. But heck, everyone’s got some sort of issues.

I explain the weird imagery of God's Grandeur thusly: Father Hopkins put off saying his daily prayers, this was a weakness of his, because he was immersed in Popular Science type magazines.

He fell asleep in the middle of his prayers and God got mixed up with the oozing oil and crushed foil phenonema he'd been reading about.


Hopkins was a major innovator in English prosody. We salute the Society of Jesus for associating themselves with this great man.

Some kid wrote a diatribe (in verse, of course) against Hopkins’ rhythms. It went on and on, but I still remember the refrain:

Spring, sprang, sprung--
Hopkins, hold your tongue.

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Wednesday, July 18, 2007

PARISHIONERS MUST PAY

LA Archdiocese’ out-of-pocket contribution to the $660 million clergy sex predator settlement equals approximately $1 million per parish.

Special collections won’t be needed (what would the church call them?) because the Archdiocese owns $4 Billion in non-parochial real estate.

But it’s all collection-plate money, current or past.

Some think it unfair that honest, humble parishioners should have to pay such huge sums for the misbehavior of a few pedophile priests.

But the huge sums are generated not by the evil of the molesting priests but rather by the evil of the Church hierarchy who protected and enabled the offending priests to continue fucking children, and in many cases to escape the sanctions of secular criminal law.

Unfair is that no bishops (or superiors) have been arrested for conspiracy to commit child rape, a charge to which they open themselves by knowingly moving rapist-priests into victim-rich environments.

It is the parishioners, however, who enable the corrupt hierarchy by their obedience, financial support, and consent to be governed.

Roman Catholics choose to belong to an authoritarian organization. The authority they grant their bishops and popes can be rescinded. Those who blindly support the hierarchy share the culpability.

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

A FEW SURMISALS (FOME)

Recently we referred to one of FOME’s (Familiars of Mineral Existence) surmisals.

FOME is a dogma-free karass. The closest we get to doctrines are “surmisals.” Surmisal is a variant of the noun surmise. According to poopie Webster, a surmise is a thought or idea based on scanty evidence.

Thusly, a surmisal, per an even more spurious online dictionary, is the expression of a belief that is held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge or proof.

We like how the last syllable of surmisal hints at schlemiel and schlimazel.

The previously mentioned surmisal, is
There’s no such thing as hell, everyone goes to heaven.

Another important surmisal is the FOME trinity:
God is love.
God is fun.
God is totally stoned (mineral).

On Reverence
Somethingness in addition to nothingness is awesome, compared to just nothingness.

On Truth
True surmisals are both unnumbered an un-umbered.

On Sainthood
A saint is someone who creates activities that are fun for all.

On the End of Man
Teleology is for chumps.

On Death
Death is “the great relaxation,” (compared to orgasm which is “the lesser relaxation”).

FOME Membership
Includes unlimited in and out privileges.

And, being pacifists (unless totally pissed off), FOMEs abjure canons.

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